march isn't messing around ...

So this has seriously been the hardest winter we've ever endured. It's been the longest, the coldest and the most expensive winter in ohio for us. March rolled in, and we breathed a timid sigh of relief ... which quickly turned to an expected eye roll, and another hunkering down as the cold and snow rolled out another encore. Our heating costs have skyrocketed, I think we've spent close to $2,500 so far in fuel oil!! We filled the tank in late January, which was 1,000, and it's completely empty. Of course it empties the week we get another arctic blast, full of blizzard snow and sub-zero temperatures. We got teased on Tuesday, with gorgeous sunshine and 70 degrees all day! It was the first time all of us had gotten outside to play in 3 months. Less than 24 hours later, we plunged 65 degrees colder. I say all that not to be a boring forecaster, but to explain the deep mental funk most of us are experiencing- not just wishing we could go outside, but a depression that encompasses work, church and family. We all want a break - we all NEED a break from this winter prison ...

blah blah blah ... this is ultimately the redemption :) we needed fuel oil. The tank was empty. We had space heaters that keep our bedrooms warm but with the temps dropping again as fast as they were, we knew we were going to need at least a partial fill. We didn't know where the $$ would come from. So we waited. And shivered a little, while stoking a fire in the fireplace and adding another layer for warmth. The house stayed steady at 65. While I was preparing dinner, my phone rang. It was Claire's friends mom, Libby. She asks point blank: so I hear that you're cold!! Do you need some heat??

what. How did she know??? I laughed a little and said we were doing fine, and she persisted a little more, saying that she and her husband were more than willing to help us if we needed it. And through my protests, and weak assurances, I overwhelmingly felt the Lord pushing me, to humbly admit, 'yes. We do need help.' Her husband was at our door in less than 30 mn with $400 in cash to give to our oil company. 

Who does this happen to?! How does God whisper in someone's ear a specific, direct need, and they're wise and compassionate and generous enough to immediately move on that nudge, first of all, are spiritually mature enough to have HEARD it in the first place, and secondly to act without thinking! Without fear of scarcity in their own life, or lack of provision in their own family. 

Doesn't this make you wonder how many times you've been God-nudged, you've been whispered to, yet because of our incredible obsession with self, and our ridiculous busyness, we've blocked out that still small voice that quietly urges us to bless. Calmly calls us to leave self behind and put others in our field of vision and finances. 

I honestly believe God did this, not just to give us heat, which WAS important, we have littles in the house .... but to outrageously enlarge my heart to trust Him with our own generosity. To open my ears to hear His gentle nudges when He wants us to bless out of our own scarcity. And fully know, believe and rest in the promise that He is our portion. He is our ultimate giver of all things. 

I want to write all these things down for my own children to read someday, perhaps when they're facing a financial giant of a deficit, or any other cliff they're hanging onto with clenched toes and fingers, to encourage them that God HEARS them! He knows what they're struggling with, without them uttering a word to anyone else!! And He will provide. He will come through. He will use His people, who are tuned to His word and His voice - and if we humble ourselves, we can say with trembling sincerity, 'yes. I do need help. Thank you - thank you.' And know that it wasn't the human vessel that provided, but the awesomely powerful Creator of the Universe who stooped down to touch His child with love, and stuffed that coveted quarter in the grimy pocket of His little one, who threw their arms around their Daddy, roughly dashed a hand at their tears, and skipped off to go play with their friends. All is well.