criticism

oh, how a mama feels when someone criticizes their children! my kiddos spent about 2 hours w/ another family, last sunday night, while tim and i were at church, and when i picked them up, i asked how things went, and was assured they were fine. a week later, that mom calls me up and made it clear that if my kids, specifically cam, were to come to her house again, that there were some issues that needed to be dealt with, because his behavior wasn't tolerated at their house. apparently, he'd used someone's sticker machine without permission, and played with some toys without asking. she also said, quite emphatically, that caloway? well! he is VERY active ... but well, he was ok. (mind you - he is a 4 yr. old BOY.)
now, of course, as moms, we instantly want to stick up for our babies, and take their side, but i was cautious, and apologized if that had happened. i made the point, however, that i wish she had told me of this earlier, so it could have been dealt with appropriately. i talked with cameron about it, afterward, and of course he could barely remember who's house he'd been at, much less how many stickers he had used a week ago. i had him write an apology note to the girl who had a fit about her stickers, and we told them we would buy her some new ones, which cam has to pay for with his own money.

i'm pretty fried at the moment, because if i had said those kind of things about this woman's kids, of COURSE she would have been offended! the thing we, as moms, need to remember: these are KIDS. they are learning - and if you have someone else's kids in your care, you can take it upon yourself to 1. let them know your rules upfront, 2. deal with a situation right when it happens, and 3. if there IS a situation that you aren't able to deal properly with the child, let the parent know. seriously - STICKERS?! that's intolerable behavior?? cameron told me he used 6 stickers.

i have had many children at my home, in my care, who've done things that aren't allowed ... you know what i did? i knelt down, and talked personally with the child when it happened, and let him/her know that they need to respect our home, and follow our rules, and we'd all get along great - oh, and that they are GREAT kids, and we were so glad they were here playing with us. i have never had to tell another mom that their kids' behavior was 'intolerable' and that they'd need to take care of those things before they could ever come back to play.
i am proud of cameron, for writing those notes - he genuinely was sorry, and volunteered his own money to pay for the stickers. he came to me, about 20 min. later, and asked if i could forgive him, with tears in his eyes.

i'll take MY kids, with their hearts on their sleeves, and their rambunctious, creative spirits over that woman's kids who sit with their legs crossed, taking life so seriously, while they sit with their knitting needles and knit ... for fun.